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The Ottawa Military History Club

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Remembrance - Some Thoughts and Reflections
on the Impact of War Losses on Canadian Families

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The Ottawa Military History Club looks at Canadian Military History from the perspectives of historical context - battles, places, dates, weapons, etc. It also looks at, and reflects on, the impact of Canadian Military History on Canadian families, particularly war losses of family members.

For many of us, we are now one or more generations away from our Canadian family members who were directly impacted by war, particularly WW1 and WW2. Some of us heard stories about our parents, grandparents, uncles, great-uncles, etc. who either served in a war, or never returned home after being killed in action. Some of us are also aware of other families in our communities who were affected.

In some cases, much is known about those who served. In other cases, very little.

What perhaps many of us did not hear about was the worry, pain and grief impact about those who served, on their families back home.

And when you multiply this by the extraordinary numbers of Canadian graves overseas, the scale of Canadian family impacts is hard to imagine.

"We Will Remember Them"

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Some of our Ottawa Military History Club meetings and presentations have looked at the impact of war losses on Canadian families in general. 

Others have looked at specific examples, some involving personal family.

Perhaps you have something to share?

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Here are some examples found on Social Media related to the impact of war losses on Canadian families.

Facebook in particular is a great source of Canadian Military History information. There are a number of good Public Facebook groups, including:

  • Canadians in Northwest Europe in the Second World War.

  • Canada World War One

  • Canadian Military Photos Lost and Found - Research Group

  • Canada Remembers

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The following is an article about Remembrance from the Ottawa Citizen, related to family interest in discovering their own family military history, and the impact on their families. ​​

Ottawa Citizen - 9 Nov 2024

 

Tim Cook, director of research and chief historian at the Canadian War Museum, says the First World War touched many families.
 

When the Ottawa Citizen launched its We Are the Dead project on Remembrance Day 2011, we had no idea how much it would be embraced by readers eager for the stories behind the names of Canada's war dead. That interest doesn't surprise Tim Cook, chief historian and director of research at the Canadian War Museum. Cook is the author of 19 books on Canada's military history from the South African War to the conflict in Korea. His most recent book, The Good Allies, examines the relationship between Canada and the U.S. during the Second World War.


Q: What is it about Remembrance Day and projects like We Are the Dead that seem to resonate so much with people?


A: Why do you think we still care? I get asked that. People say, `Even the Second World War is 80 years ago. The world has moved on.'


I think there are several elements that continue to resonate with Canadians. The first is the size and the shock of this cataclysmic event. A third of Canadian adult males served and so many Canadians were affected by this war. The First World War, even if it was 110 years ago, there were more than 66,000 Canadians who were killed. So many families were touched by this war, across the country, all classes, and almost all religions. That is one reason why it's continued to live on from descendant to descendant to descendant.


Q: It often seems like a very personal response from people.


A: Not every Canadian cares about this — not every Canadian even knows about it. But at the museum we often get letters from people that say, `I just found out that I had a great-grandfather or a great-uncle who served in the war. How can I find out more?' A key element of this desire to know more is that this history is in our families. It's in our blood. It goes back generations. There are millions of Canadians, in fact, who have a link to this war.


Q: Why is the First World War especially significant for Canadians?


A: Each year around this time, we return to acts of remembrance and commemoration. Even though our remembrance extends to other wars and other conflicts and our Canadian Armed Forces members today, so much of the commemorative language and systems are from the Great War. Think of the poppy. Think about John Mccrae and the poem In Flanders Fields. Think about Armistice Day, which was renamed Remembrance Day in 1931. Think about our national monument and about Vimy Ridge. Even though Remembrance Day is about connecting the past to the present from many wars, the Great War has particular prominence.


It was a defining moment for Canada and we have taught it as such.


Q: It seems Canadians are determined to not forget.


A: In 2010, with the death of John Babcock, who was our last surviving veteran from the First World War, I remember being asked by journalists: Is this the end? Will the Great War fade away and become something like the War of 1812, which is really only dredged up in history classes or in museums? But it seems to me that the Great War is really something quite different. We see this now, the importance and the impact of descendants. They are playing a really critical role in remembrance. Are they just interested in their family history? Clearly that is part of the story. But does that family history also allow them to better understand the war effort and their country's history? There are a lot of people engaged in genealogical research, I think that the war is a particular event that allows them to learn more about their country.


Q: For We Are the Dead, we depend on readers to help us tell the stories. In fact, we probably wouldn't be successful without them.


A: We shouldn't discount the incredible work of Library and Archives Canada in the digitization of war records. We have far more sources available online and through specialized genealogical sites and newspapers and all of that which allows us to do this important work. Just recently Library and Archives have started to digitize the records of the 42,000 Canadians who were killed in the Second World War. That will open up new research. We don't have the full 1.1 million personnel files, but whenever privacy laws and resources at Library and Archives allow, that will spark a new exploration of that generation of Canadians at war.


We can be thankful of that opportunity to remember our shared history, which continues to pulse in the present, and which we will hand down to the next generation. You asked why we have not forgotten the Great War and those who fought in it or were shaped by it, and we continue to want to explore these individuals as people. I think, ultimately, because it still haunts us.

Not sure where the following came from, but it does seem relevant to this section.


Last spring, when my son’s high school invited families to attend a special assembly featuring two World War II veterans, I thought it would be an educational afternoon, maybe even a meaningful one, but I had absolutely no idea that I was about to witness one of the most profoundly human and unforgettable moments I have ever experienced, something that would stay with me for the rest of my life and something I desperately hope my son will carry with him far into adulthood.


The auditorium lights dimmed, chatter faded into respectful silence, and two elderly men—frail in body but astonishingly strong in spirit—were escorted onto the stage to share their stories.


The first veteran, Mr. Leonard Price, walked with a cane but spoke with a voice that still held the weight and sharpness of memory. He told us he had been a young naval mechanic stationed at Pearl Harbor the morning the sky split open in flames and chaos. He described the sudden roar of planes overhead, the sound of bombs slicing through air, the terror of not knowing who was alive or gone, the frantic sprinting, the smoke so thick it tasted like metal on the tongue, and how he and countless others somehow kept fighting, kept running, kept pulling strangers from rubble even though they were barely more than boys themselves.


Halfway through his story, his voice cracked in a way that felt like a wound reopening after decades of being quietly stitched shut, and in that packed auditorium you could hear the trembling breath he took as he tried to steady himself.


Teenagers who spent their afternoons arguing about WiFi passwords and basketball scores sat frozen in absolute silence as this gentle old man relived the morning that changed his life and changed the world.


The second speaker, Mr. Arthur Langford, took the microphone with a calm, almost peaceful expression—though it soon became clear that the serenity came from surviving storms most of us could never imagine. He had been on a small naval vessel off the coast of Normandy during the D-Day landings. He described watching hundreds of young soldiers in boats approaching the shore, watching some fall before they ever touched sand, watching others sprint into gunfire because freedom demanded it. He told the story not with drama, but with dignity, like someone honoring the ghosts who stood beside him even now.


By the time he finished speaking, every person in that gym understood the gravity of what had been entrusted to us—these two men, standing before us as living pages of history, had carried memories heavier than anything we had ever experienced, and yet they somehow spoke with love, not bitterness, with gratitude, not resentment.


Then came the question-and-answer portion of the event, and none of us expected what happened next.


From the far back row, where the light barely reached, an elderly woman slowly lifted her hand. Her movements were gentle, almost hesitant, as though she wasn’t entirely sure she should speak, but something inside her insisted she had to. The moderator spotted her and offered her the microphone, and she stood with effort, her small frame leaning slightly on the seat in front of her.


“I… I was there,” she said in a soft voice touched by a European accent that immediately changed the energy of the room.


Those three words made every head turn toward her.


She swallowed, gathering strength, and continued, “I was a little girl in the Netherlands. And one night, someone slid a note under our door telling us to stay inside. A note telling us you were coming… that help was on the way… that we should hold on because the soldiers who would save us were nearing.”


The room shifted from stillness to something sacred.


The veterans stared at her with wide eyes, stunned.


She clutched the microphone with trembling fingers as she tried to speak again, her emotions tightening her voice. “And you came. You came for us. You saved us. My family lived because you all fought your way across Europe. And I… I just wanted to say thank you. After all these years… thank you.”


She began to cry, the kind of cry that carries decades of buried memories, and in an instant, half the room was crying with her—including me.


I looked at my son—a seventeen-year-old boy still figuring out the world—and saw him staring at her with a seriousness I had never seen on his face before, a dawning awareness that history isn’t just something you read in books, but something lived, something witnessed, something felt in the bones of people who survived the unthinkable.


The two veterans, who moments earlier had spoken with practiced composure, now looked overwhelmed, their eyes shining with tears they didn’t bother to hide. One of them, Mr. Langford, placed a hand over his heart. The other, Mr. Price, whispered “bless you” into the microphone before emotion swallowed the rest of his words.


The whole room—students, teachers, parents—sat suspended in a moment that felt bigger than us, deeper than us, stretching backward through time in a way that made the past feel painfully, beautifully close.


And I cried for so many reasons.


I cried for the young men who never came home, boys no older than the students sitting beside me.


I cried because I too often forget that my everyday freedoms were purchased by people who gave everything.


I cried for that woman who had waited a lifetime to say what had been sitting in her heart since she was a child hiding in fear.


I cried because my son got to witness something pure and powerful—living history shaking hands with living gratitude.


And in that moment, I silently prayed that he would grow into the kind of man who understands the weight of sacrifice, the importance of courage, and the necessity of remembering the cost of freedom.


As the event ended, applause erupted—not polite applause, but the kind that rises from the soul, the kind that feels like gratitude in physical form. Students lined up to shake the veterans’ hands. Teachers dabbed their eyes. Parents hugged their kids a little tighter.


And as we walked out into the bright afternoon, my son turned to me and said, “I’ll never forget that.”


I squeezed his shoulder and whispered, “I hope you never do.”


Because what we witnessed wasn’t just a history lesson.


It was a reminder of who we are, where we come from, and what we owe to the brave souls who carried the unbearable weight of war so the rest of us could live in peace.


And I hope, with all my heart, that none of us ever take that for granted.

Here is another item from Facebook

("Canada Remembers" - Remembrance Day 2017).

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Master Corporal Byron Greff was the last Canadian to die in Canada's mission in Afghanistan (October 29, 2011).

He was 28 years old. His wife was 26. They had two children, 6 years old and 2 weeks old.

The Legion Magazine featured their story in September 2014. 

One can only imagine how many times this played out in Canadian homes in times of war.

https://legionmagazine.com/byron-greffs-wedding-ring/

And of course arguably the most iconic thoughts about loss and grief, from one Canadian soldier to another, the words of John McCrae.

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